carlos and i try to see each other at least once a month, usually every 4 or 5 weeks or so. of course, this requires a lot of money management and work on our parts, but its always worth it. because of scheduling, after i flew down in january, i wasn't supposed to see him until spring break in march. 7 weeks may not sound too terrible, but we had gotten into a few fights, and it's valentines weekend and all. so anyways.
tuesday, our professor told us we would not have class on friday. now, thurs- sunday with no classes? sounds perfect! just for kicks i checked flight prices, and they were all over 900 dollars. i told carlos and he was upset at the situation, but jokingly shrugged it off, - after all, its OUTRAGEOUS tos pend that kind of money on tickets. i worked, and slept and woke up for classes on wednesday. after my public speaking class let out, i checked again, out of curiosity/crazy hope. and luckily i did. i found an AMAZING flight deal on hotwire.com for 280 round trip!!! after hectic switching around of work schedules and shaking hands, i hit 'book' and got the deal. i was scheduled to leave in less than 20 hours from newark airport. the day consisted of class, running around getting schoolwork together, and packing! i had previously promised carlos' sister marcella that iw ould spend wednesday with her, so i did. and it was great! i love that girl (: her mom was nice enough to let me stay over and drive me to the airport the next day. pensacola, here i go!
i had planned to surprise carlos with this trip, but with the crazy navy schedule it's pretty hard to do something like that, cause itll go wrong more likely than not. but i had to tell him and he was in disbelief and so excited!
thursday my friend lauren picked me up from the airport and took me to carlos' house (: thanks again! carlos had a minute to eat a quick lunch and then had to go back to work. when he came back, we went to his friend's house to study, since they had an exam and i did too! friday, he did his exam, got some work done and came home to me (: we went out that night to dinner and a movie and seville quarters with another friend of his and his "girlfriend", and that was fun as well! safe house, by the way, sucked. i fell asleep, lmao. seville was fun and the piano bar/club was interesting, haha. saturday, we spent a good portion of the day relaxing, and went to a friend's house for his birthday, and out to dinner later on .
although it was a super short weekend, it was definitely a lot of fun and we got a lot of quality time together with friends and each other pretty much watching how i met your mother while cuddling on the couch when we werent out of the house. florida is beautiful,always, and i felt so blessed to be there much sooner than expected.
it was really nice and exciting to get a few days with him that i totally didnt expect. now, this wait till spring break will seem like nothing at all <3 thanks for a wonderful weekend baby!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
not paying attention in neuropsych
which is exactly what i should be doing. oh well.
clearly, i need to stop forgetting i have a blog.
thanksgiving was wonderful, and the rest of fall semester went well too! i earned a 3.375 for the semester, even though i SHOULD have had a 3.5, thanks RU screw. oh well, christmas was great and new years with my boyfriend was perfect.
2012 is off to a great start, looking back on january. christmas break, whatever little time i got with my boyfriend was much needed. i worked every day until the semester started again, but the culmination of API brought carlos a weekend where he wasnt super busy, and was perfect for a visit! i flew down wednesday afternoon on 1/18, and left monday morning on 1/23. visiting him in florida gives us a little taste of typical daily life together- grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. as strange as it was, i loved it, and secretly i know he did too (; it was also really awesome to see one of carlos' best friends since forever, brian, when he drove down to pensacola from columbus, ga. he of course, didnt help in the we-need-to-get-out-of-the-house-and-do-something phase i was in, as they just wanted to watch tv. even so it was a nice relaxing weekend. and seeing jenny and melanie and meeting elizabeth and matt and nick and luis, made it fun too! dinner at shark fin was fun and so was going out to miller's . i personally LOVED the fact that at home there was snow , and i missed it by being in 75 degree january pensacola weather. leaving is probably the worst feeling in the world, and that is how i know that me and carlos are meant for each other.when everything reminds you of that person.
the new semester is going well, although i've been busy with work and interning as well, so i should be trying to focus more on school. my classes are really interesting, surprisingly enough. i was just accepted into graduate school, so at least i have something. my next project is applying to more schools in new york, and finding a decent salary job while im grad school. my only concern is that i know i am moving after my masters, to wherever carlos gets assigned. i just hope that i dont get screwed over by leaving a job to move.
.i really miss him so much, its definitely a rollercoaster, this distance thing. not cause i dont trust him or vice versa, but simply cause we miss being with each other. hanging out, watching movies, date nights.all that stuff. it just really blows not being able to see your best friend. i haven't seen him since i left, even over webcam. our schedules just clash so badly, and were both exhausted by the end of the day. i can only tell myself to toughen up and get over it so often. sometimes i just want to be sad. another wedding season is coming up, this time with the 2012 girls. its just annoying knowing that i still have over a year or so left of distance. i am hoping we can get married after my masters and carlos' winging- it just seems like the right time, when we both are moving and starting new parts of our lives. why not start together? plus, at that time, we will have been together for over 5 years., and i will be 23 and carlos will be 24 and a half. am i crazy, cause i think that sounds like a good point in time to get married? i dont know. whatever. nothing pisses me off more than people who barely know each other getting married and not having to put up with bullshit like i and so many other women have done. thats the annoying part.
dont get me wrong, im not jealous and im not bitter. im just annoyed, but i know the choice we are making is right and i know itll pan out well.
however, i am super excited that my good friend samantha is also included in this 'wedding season' , and i couldnt be happier for her and her fiance chris! congratulations sam, if you are reading this.
i guess i should get back to paying attention to this lecture, but i can barely see, my contacts are foggy. who am i kidding, im going to sign up for pinterest now.
clearly, i need to stop forgetting i have a blog.
thanksgiving was wonderful, and the rest of fall semester went well too! i earned a 3.375 for the semester, even though i SHOULD have had a 3.5, thanks RU screw. oh well, christmas was great and new years with my boyfriend was perfect.
2012 is off to a great start, looking back on january. christmas break, whatever little time i got with my boyfriend was much needed. i worked every day until the semester started again, but the culmination of API brought carlos a weekend where he wasnt super busy, and was perfect for a visit! i flew down wednesday afternoon on 1/18, and left monday morning on 1/23. visiting him in florida gives us a little taste of typical daily life together- grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. as strange as it was, i loved it, and secretly i know he did too (; it was also really awesome to see one of carlos' best friends since forever, brian, when he drove down to pensacola from columbus, ga. he of course, didnt help in the we-need-to-get-out-of-the-house-and-do-something phase i was in, as they just wanted to watch tv. even so it was a nice relaxing weekend. and seeing jenny and melanie and meeting elizabeth and matt and nick and luis, made it fun too! dinner at shark fin was fun and so was going out to miller's . i personally LOVED the fact that at home there was snow , and i missed it by being in 75 degree january pensacola weather. leaving is probably the worst feeling in the world, and that is how i know that me and carlos are meant for each other.when everything reminds you of that person.
the new semester is going well, although i've been busy with work and interning as well, so i should be trying to focus more on school. my classes are really interesting, surprisingly enough. i was just accepted into graduate school, so at least i have something. my next project is applying to more schools in new york, and finding a decent salary job while im grad school. my only concern is that i know i am moving after my masters, to wherever carlos gets assigned. i just hope that i dont get screwed over by leaving a job to move.
.i really miss him so much, its definitely a rollercoaster, this distance thing. not cause i dont trust him or vice versa, but simply cause we miss being with each other. hanging out, watching movies, date nights.all that stuff. it just really blows not being able to see your best friend. i haven't seen him since i left, even over webcam. our schedules just clash so badly, and were both exhausted by the end of the day. i can only tell myself to toughen up and get over it so often. sometimes i just want to be sad. another wedding season is coming up, this time with the 2012 girls. its just annoying knowing that i still have over a year or so left of distance. i am hoping we can get married after my masters and carlos' winging- it just seems like the right time, when we both are moving and starting new parts of our lives. why not start together? plus, at that time, we will have been together for over 5 years., and i will be 23 and carlos will be 24 and a half. am i crazy, cause i think that sounds like a good point in time to get married? i dont know. whatever. nothing pisses me off more than people who barely know each other getting married and not having to put up with bullshit like i and so many other women have done. thats the annoying part.
dont get me wrong, im not jealous and im not bitter. im just annoyed, but i know the choice we are making is right and i know itll pan out well.
however, i am super excited that my good friend samantha is also included in this 'wedding season' , and i couldnt be happier for her and her fiance chris! congratulations sam, if you are reading this.
i guess i should get back to paying attention to this lecture, but i can barely see, my contacts are foggy. who am i kidding, im going to sign up for pinterest now.
Friday, November 18, 2011
ramble and word vomit.
Sometimes, I find it really funny that I want to blog, and write about everything I experience, and how I feel at the time. I think it could be really therapeutic if i kept up with it like I should. I feel that I don't have patience for anything anymore. I legitimately believe that I have some kind of ADD, or focusing problem. I have a lot of trouble remaining on task for more than a few minutes. Whether it is studying, paying attention, or whatever. Perhaps its just things that I don't find useful. Like school. Don't get me wrong , learning and education are very important and definitely put someone on an easier path to a successful career. and i dont plan on dropping out. i just find that the politics and the bullshit of school and college and most things in life really override the genuineness (is that a word)of it. so many things in this world are meant to be useful and beautiful and great. but people screw them up. people and their greed or anger or selfishness, ruin it.
i've started cutting people out of my life, because ive learned that there are many people i don't want to be like. the statement that you are like the people you surround yourself with is very true. i have learned that i surrounded myself with people who were raised similarly to me.. however, it also became clear that i actually grew to become my own person, and matured with college and the dawning of real-world responsibilities, like bills and work and balancing one's life. it's just hilarious to me that people consider 'college' to be 'real life'. HELLO? studying for an exam is stressful,but it is NOT the real world. when mommy and daddy still support you, and allow for you to be able to focus entirely on your studies and social life, then consider yourself very lucky. however, don't cry when you get shoved into responsibility. sometimes my life is very stressful and i worry how i'll live after not working for a few days, but in the end, knowing that i can support myself at the age of 21 (and earlier) makes me feel like a successful person. I found the man that i'll love forever, i know how to survive on my own and independently, and i am working towards a brighter future for myself, which leads to a better life for my (future) family.
i guess i dont really know why this is such a big deal to me now, probably because i am a really social person who has decided to not keep in steady touch with over half of her friends. but acquaintances are always better, anyway.
i am really looking forward to a wonderful holiday, with family, my boyfriend back home in new jersey, and shopping! we are also going to look at engagement rings, which i really was not expecting, because i thought it would just remain a giant surprise till he proposed. but its really exciting to see that he feels ready enough for this. we definitely plan on being together for the long run, but its just so relieving andmakes this all REAL that we (okay, HE) is taking it seriously now! i can't wait to be engaged, marriage can wait, but i cannot wait to know for sure that carlos and i can start building our future together. i know its going to be bliss ! (okay, maybe im exaggerating, it'll probably consist of a lot of exasperation and sighing and head-shaking, mostly cause of his videogames and constant farting) but hey, it could be worse?
i've started cutting people out of my life, because ive learned that there are many people i don't want to be like. the statement that you are like the people you surround yourself with is very true. i have learned that i surrounded myself with people who were raised similarly to me.. however, it also became clear that i actually grew to become my own person, and matured with college and the dawning of real-world responsibilities, like bills and work and balancing one's life. it's just hilarious to me that people consider 'college' to be 'real life'. HELLO? studying for an exam is stressful,but it is NOT the real world. when mommy and daddy still support you, and allow for you to be able to focus entirely on your studies and social life, then consider yourself very lucky. however, don't cry when you get shoved into responsibility. sometimes my life is very stressful and i worry how i'll live after not working for a few days, but in the end, knowing that i can support myself at the age of 21 (and earlier) makes me feel like a successful person. I found the man that i'll love forever, i know how to survive on my own and independently, and i am working towards a brighter future for myself, which leads to a better life for my (future) family.
i guess i dont really know why this is such a big deal to me now, probably because i am a really social person who has decided to not keep in steady touch with over half of her friends. but acquaintances are always better, anyway.
i am really looking forward to a wonderful holiday, with family, my boyfriend back home in new jersey, and shopping! we are also going to look at engagement rings, which i really was not expecting, because i thought it would just remain a giant surprise till he proposed. but its really exciting to see that he feels ready enough for this. we definitely plan on being together for the long run, but its just so relieving andmakes this all REAL that we (okay, HE) is taking it seriously now! i can't wait to be engaged, marriage can wait, but i cannot wait to know for sure that carlos and i can start building our future together. i know its going to be bliss ! (okay, maybe im exaggerating, it'll probably consist of a lot of exasperation and sighing and head-shaking, mostly cause of his videogames and constant farting) but hey, it could be worse?
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
senior year, semester one.
So reading my previous post made me realize that this blogging stuff is definitely not for me. i dont have the patience for this. currently, i'm in class and my friend is saddened by this message, haha. :)
but things from last post are not so palm-tree like, since i am back in dirty jersey. which is the best state in the union, i must add. haha. anyways. this semester has been SUPER hectic with my 400 levels, applying to graduate schools, my job and my internship! it's been really crazy trying to manage everything, just because i'm trying to make time for a minimal social life and a long distance relationship. but so far it's working, and i'm praying it stays that way.
october was the best month ever. homecoming was a blast and we beat navy! duh (: my 21st birthday was also a great time, with some wonderful people. and later that week, i flew down to see my boy for the first time in roughly 7 weeks. let me tell you, there is nothing quite like the feeling of a hug after such a long time. i know that i'll eventually have to go longer, but it was still the best feeling to feel my face light up upon seeing hi m pop out from behind the fake palm trees in the pensacola airport waiting area. that was the start of a literally perfect weekend, and i couldn't have asked for a better time. looking forward now, we only have SEVEN days<3 a week left! so excited to have him HOME<3
my internship is pretty interesting so far, the students are great , but i definitely know that i will NOT be going clinical, cause Lord knows i cannot deal with mentally ill patient forever. i want my kiddies in schools!
i'm starting to get anxiety about grad programs, and how much this is all going to cost, time and money wise. i really really hope i get int where i'm applying. So far its UWF, Montclair State, Monmouth University, NYU and Columbia. AHHHHHH im getting a headache just thinking bout it.i really really hope i get into the 36 credit programs, so i can finish by fall of 2013, which is hopefully when carlos will get winged! i am praying for SOME sort of timing to work out and for the navy to NOT screw us over. some normalcy, please and thanks.
so things with my parent re much better but i am super nervous about carlos meeting my family for the first time this thanksgiving. especially cause i dont know where its leading. i know theyll love him, but they are too damn opinionated for their own good. sigh. can't handle guyanese people. theyre too loud. sigh. but we shall see how this goes!
and no, i am not engaged.yes, my boyfriend is an ensign. no, we arent splitting up. no, i am not a midhound. no, i do not know when he will propose. and no i will not put it on facebook. you didn't miss anything....
incase you were wondering. (;
but things from last post are not so palm-tree like, since i am back in dirty jersey. which is the best state in the union, i must add. haha. anyways. this semester has been SUPER hectic with my 400 levels, applying to graduate schools, my job and my internship! it's been really crazy trying to manage everything, just because i'm trying to make time for a minimal social life and a long distance relationship. but so far it's working, and i'm praying it stays that way.
october was the best month ever. homecoming was a blast and we beat navy! duh (: my 21st birthday was also a great time, with some wonderful people. and later that week, i flew down to see my boy for the first time in roughly 7 weeks. let me tell you, there is nothing quite like the feeling of a hug after such a long time. i know that i'll eventually have to go longer, but it was still the best feeling to feel my face light up upon seeing hi m pop out from behind the fake palm trees in the pensacola airport waiting area. that was the start of a literally perfect weekend, and i couldn't have asked for a better time. looking forward now, we only have SEVEN days<3 a week left! so excited to have him HOME<3
my internship is pretty interesting so far, the students are great , but i definitely know that i will NOT be going clinical, cause Lord knows i cannot deal with mentally ill patient forever. i want my kiddies in schools!
i'm starting to get anxiety about grad programs, and how much this is all going to cost, time and money wise. i really really hope i get int where i'm applying. So far its UWF, Montclair State, Monmouth University, NYU and Columbia. AHHHHHH im getting a headache just thinking bout it.i really really hope i get into the 36 credit programs, so i can finish by fall of 2013, which is hopefully when carlos will get winged! i am praying for SOME sort of timing to work out and for the navy to NOT screw us over. some normalcy, please and thanks.
so things with my parent re much better but i am super nervous about carlos meeting my family for the first time this thanksgiving. especially cause i dont know where its leading. i know theyll love him, but they are too damn opinionated for their own good. sigh. can't handle guyanese people. theyre too loud. sigh. but we shall see how this goes!
and no, i am not engaged.yes, my boyfriend is an ensign. no, we arent splitting up. no, i am not a midhound. no, i do not know when he will propose. and no i will not put it on facebook. you didn't miss anything....
incase you were wondering. (;
Monday, September 19, 2011
a REALLY overdue post.
So, where should I pick up from ? Working all summer? the start of the school year, maybe.
But first, I'm going to explain my mini vacay to pensacola, florida.
On August 30th, after spending Eid with my sister all day, I drove back to my home on campus and packed. Carlos picked me up, with a super packed Nissan Altima and we got ready to embark down south with his mom. After goodbyes and a few tears, we headed out. We left at 8pm, ESt. Drove through NJ, Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia (wtf is in west virginia , anyway?!), all straight. We stopped in Virginia for gas and to stretch. I fell asleep, and I woke up when we were in Tennessee (another state i never thought i'd end up in).. We were supposed to stop and sleep in Tennessee and rest but my good old boyfriend, who decided he wasn't going to stop, continued onward. Drove through Tennessee, touched Georgia. Completely baffled as to why there was a minimum speed limit, and my good friend Keri Pye explained the tendency of tractors to drive on interestates. Welcome to the South? and then we hit Alabama. Entered Central Time, and it blew my mind. CENTRAL TIME! haha. Alabamatook FOOOOOOREVER. Entered Florida. Cabin fever was unbearable, but thankfully after only two stops the entire trip, we got to our hotel in pensacola! I guess it wasn't what i expected (the town, not hotel) everything was sprawling and so spread out, and there were PALM TREES !!! we relaxed that day, and met up with his father and little sister who were in pascagoula for work. the next day, carlos checked in to NAS pensacola and i explored the base with his mom. then we found his brand new apartment and he signed the lease!!! friday and saturday were move-in days and organizing/shopping days. somehow ended up in mobile, alabama. never want to go back to alabama again. also STILL didnt see a confederate flag. fail. got to see the navy game with jenny robida and her husband and lauren&aaron rosa at their beautiful home! thanks again for inviting us, lauren! got to meet some cool people and carlos saw some old academy friends. navy won the game! we also got hit with the hurricane, womp. first irene then that one. lol. his parents and sister left on sunday, and afterwards, me and carlos drove to columbus georgia to visit his best friend at fort benning! we spent labor day there and had a good time with brian, including visiting fort benning, the surrounding area, and the national infantry museum. and the shooting range, which i realized was NOT for me when i freaked at the sight ofbullets flying out of a big gun to the wall. STILL dont know how this is a 'family event', and i started crying hysterically. not my finest moment. after that day. then me and carlos drove back to his place so he could be prepared for briefs and stuff the following day. tuesday was a day where we visited the aviation museum on base and pensacola beach! GORGEOUSSSSSS ahhhh love it! we spent the evening watching movies and drinking wine and cuddling. loved love love it. the next morning, he had to report to base and then he drove me to the airport. smallest airport EVER. flew outta pcola to charlotte, and got stuck in charlotte cause newark was delayed. stuck in charlotte for more than 3 hours and finaally boarded and got stuck another hour. got to newark at like 8 or 9ish and back to rutgers later that night! what a trip. can't wait to head back to the beautiful gulf coast and to see my baby again!
But first, I'm going to explain my mini vacay to pensacola, florida.
On August 30th, after spending Eid with my sister all day, I drove back to my home on campus and packed. Carlos picked me up, with a super packed Nissan Altima and we got ready to embark down south with his mom. After goodbyes and a few tears, we headed out. We left at 8pm, ESt. Drove through NJ, Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia (wtf is in west virginia , anyway?!), all straight. We stopped in Virginia for gas and to stretch. I fell asleep, and I woke up when we were in Tennessee (another state i never thought i'd end up in).. We were supposed to stop and sleep in Tennessee and rest but my good old boyfriend, who decided he wasn't going to stop, continued onward. Drove through Tennessee, touched Georgia. Completely baffled as to why there was a minimum speed limit, and my good friend Keri Pye explained the tendency of tractors to drive on interestates. Welcome to the South? and then we hit Alabama. Entered Central Time, and it blew my mind. CENTRAL TIME! haha. Alabamatook FOOOOOOREVER. Entered Florida. Cabin fever was unbearable, but thankfully after only two stops the entire trip, we got to our hotel in pensacola! I guess it wasn't what i expected (the town, not hotel) everything was sprawling and so spread out, and there were PALM TREES !!! we relaxed that day, and met up with his father and little sister who were in pascagoula for work. the next day, carlos checked in to NAS pensacola and i explored the base with his mom. then we found his brand new apartment and he signed the lease!!! friday and saturday were move-in days and organizing/shopping days. somehow ended up in mobile, alabama. never want to go back to alabama again. also STILL didnt see a confederate flag. fail. got to see the navy game with jenny robida and her husband and lauren&aaron rosa at their beautiful home! thanks again for inviting us, lauren! got to meet some cool people and carlos saw some old academy friends. navy won the game! we also got hit with the hurricane, womp. first irene then that one. lol. his parents and sister left on sunday, and afterwards, me and carlos drove to columbus georgia to visit his best friend at fort benning! we spent labor day there and had a good time with brian, including visiting fort benning, the surrounding area, and the national infantry museum. and the shooting range, which i realized was NOT for me when i freaked at the sight ofbullets flying out of a big gun to the wall. STILL dont know how this is a 'family event', and i started crying hysterically. not my finest moment. after that day. then me and carlos drove back to his place so he could be prepared for briefs and stuff the following day. tuesday was a day where we visited the aviation museum on base and pensacola beach! GORGEOUSSSSSS ahhhh love it! we spent the evening watching movies and drinking wine and cuddling. loved love love it. the next morning, he had to report to base and then he drove me to the airport. smallest airport EVER. flew outta pcola to charlotte, and got stuck in charlotte cause newark was delayed. stuck in charlotte for more than 3 hours and finaally boarded and got stuck another hour. got to newark at like 8 or 9ish and back to rutgers later that night! what a trip. can't wait to head back to the beautiful gulf coast and to see my baby again!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
A Much-Needed Post
So although I barely have time to breathe, I feel the need to post this. A lot has been happening within the past few days and I'm not really sure how to handle it.
Carlos leaves for Pensacola in a few weeks, and we have been trying so hard to make plans with my mom so he can finally meet her. She backed out yesterday, saying that my priorities aren't straight and she threatened to tell my non-approving father. I left for work and did not go home , I went back to my house in New Brunswick to live on my own. They keep harassing me and telling me to come home. I told them I dont feel welcome at home anymore, and Im angry my parents can't see that I am a good person with my head on straight. I dont give them trouble for any reason other than normal reasons. I dont do drugs, or anything illegal. I'm not a whore, and Im in college, pursuing grad school. The ideas that I dont have my priorities straight is absurd, especially when I support myself and am grown-up enough to accept adult responsibiities. Why , however, can't I have adult priveleges/rights?
It's really driving me crazy because I hate doing this to my family, but I dont trust them anymore. They are always switching the story and dont stick to their words. Theyll tell me everything is ok, and guilt me into coming home , and thn a week later its back to the same shit. I don't feel comfortable at home anymore.
That and telling my father solidified me being betrayed. My father will not be accepting or supportive of this. I am furious and hurt and scared.
My question is, why do I have to fight SO HARD to have something that is NORMAL to have at my age and this point in my life? Carlos is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I love him to pieces. Why would they want to take this away from me?
Carlos leaves for Pensacola in a few weeks, and we have been trying so hard to make plans with my mom so he can finally meet her. She backed out yesterday, saying that my priorities aren't straight and she threatened to tell my non-approving father. I left for work and did not go home , I went back to my house in New Brunswick to live on my own. They keep harassing me and telling me to come home. I told them I dont feel welcome at home anymore, and Im angry my parents can't see that I am a good person with my head on straight. I dont give them trouble for any reason other than normal reasons. I dont do drugs, or anything illegal. I'm not a whore, and Im in college, pursuing grad school. The ideas that I dont have my priorities straight is absurd, especially when I support myself and am grown-up enough to accept adult responsibiities. Why , however, can't I have adult priveleges/rights?
It's really driving me crazy because I hate doing this to my family, but I dont trust them anymore. They are always switching the story and dont stick to their words. Theyll tell me everything is ok, and guilt me into coming home , and thn a week later its back to the same shit. I don't feel comfortable at home anymore.
That and telling my father solidified me being betrayed. My father will not be accepting or supportive of this. I am furious and hurt and scared.
My question is, why do I have to fight SO HARD to have something that is NORMAL to have at my age and this point in my life? Carlos is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I love him to pieces. Why would they want to take this away from me?
Friday, July 1, 2011
life update.
i kind of wish my life was more interesting. i know, i know. a navy girlfriend wanting a life of more exotic-ness, blah blah blah. (lol) but anyways.
school is going FAST. this class im taking now is only 4 weeks , so 14 weeks packed into four makes it HECTIC. i should be doing homework at the moment, but this is more appealing
work is going well too, now that i am no longer on anyone elses schedule but my own. i like doing things MY way on MY time, without anyone making me do things i don't want to. aka training. i guess i really am a very independent person.
i really LOVE having my boy home on weekends for the summer. its going to be absolutely heartbreakingly miserable to let him go when he moves to pensacola. i really do think that my absolute favorite place on earth to be is just sitting on the couch, laying on his chest. i could stay like that for HOURS. and having him home makes that so much easier to do! haha.
things have been going well so far, and i'm happy. here's hoping that they continue this way.
school is going FAST. this class im taking now is only 4 weeks , so 14 weeks packed into four makes it HECTIC. i should be doing homework at the moment, but this is more appealing
work is going well too, now that i am no longer on anyone elses schedule but my own. i like doing things MY way on MY time, without anyone making me do things i don't want to. aka training. i guess i really am a very independent person.
i really LOVE having my boy home on weekends for the summer. its going to be absolutely heartbreakingly miserable to let him go when he moves to pensacola. i really do think that my absolute favorite place on earth to be is just sitting on the couch, laying on his chest. i could stay like that for HOURS. and having him home makes that so much easier to do! haha.
things have been going well so far, and i'm happy. here's hoping that they continue this way.
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