the title of this post is probably enough to make you want to just click the 'x' button, or say 'what is this girl going to complain about now?' but i promise, i make some valid points, even when I'm sad.
i never thought i'd be the one to say this, but i miss college. it hasn't even been a month after graduation, and i already miss it. but not for the reasons everyone else probably does. in fact, its for the exact opposite. you see, college life to a lot of people involves a lot of partying and drinking. i am not that person- i'll go out occasionally, when i am in the mood to . but i am just as content with staying in and hanging out. i am a very social person, but i'd prefer to go to apple bees or something with my friends and just chill rather than go to a bar. i love to dance, but i have to be in the mood to go out.
moving to new york sounds like every person's dream. and for a while, actually a very long time, it was mine too. i moved into my bedroom in my apartment, in alumni hall at new york university, and was ecstatic. unpacked my stuff and marveled that this was real life for me. i finally made it to my dream school. the next morning, i woke up. and realized that i essentially had nothing. i don't know anybody at this school. now, i can make friends. I'm a very social person, no matter what. but being a grad student, especially during the summer, doesn't really allow for many opportunities to make friends in class. so the people i talk to are my apartment mates. we all have single rooms in our apt. they are nice. actually two of them are nice girls. i do not like one of them, at all. but that's okay, i can deal. thats life. but what i realize about these people, and all of their friends i've met, is that these are not the people i want to socialize with. I'm sorry, but i don't really plan on taking ecstasy every night while blasting house music and getting wasted at the bar . i also don't sell drugs. my parents do not pay for my education, even though my dad makes a three figure salary. i am independent, even though i don't even have my bachelors degree mailed to my house yet. these are not the kind of people i want to associate myself with. it just makes me sick how these girls don't need to work because mommy and daddy give them money, which they spend on the stupidest shit. it makes me question their moral values. it is also very important to them who they know- perhaps that is just cause we are in the city. but its not everything in life.
i guess i just have different life perspective than these girls do. but sadly, most of the people here think lik ethat. which makes me question whether or not i belong here. i love the classes i can take and am registered for . but i do not like living in the city if these are the people I'm stuck with. i guess its a curse that I'm so social, because now i've been so alone and constantly on the phone and in my room. my roommates probably think I'm insane because i don't go out all the time with them. but thats just not me. it also helps that I'm engaged and they're all single. i joke around and call myself the old lady, but in reality, it doesn't have much to do with carlos.
having two of my friends from home visit me was absolutely phenomenal. not just cause i had people i knew, but because for a while, i felt like myself again. enjoying the city with people i know and love. having fun, being with my friends. talking and laughing.
i don't feel like myself here in new york. probably cause being myself in a situation i don't like, is not me. at all.
