So about 10 days ago, I got an email that changed my life. I was notified of my acceptance to New York University, again. This time, however, it was for my Master's Degree. I was in shock, ecstatic. I was given a second chance at my dream school.
I was bummed about not being able to move with Carlos after graduation, but we were both so very excited at the prospect, now reality, of me moving to the city for school. I felt on top of the world, nearly invincible. For almost 22 years, i've worked so very hard and it's paying off. i felt so proud of myself.
But now, as everything is starting to settle in, i am suffering from insane anxiety. trying to get everything done so quickly, while graduating, while studying, while working 5 days a week, while dealing with my family's bullshit, including playing chauffeur, is really getting to me. i'm definitely not the person to disappoint anyone, and i get shit done. but this is affecting my health and sanity.
lucklily, i got off of work pretty early, so i tried to start filling out loan applications and deposit. of course the site isn't working for me, so that's fun. but i tried googling the tuition that i have to pay, and it says 1380 per term per unit. So a 36 credit masters is almost 50 thousand dollars. without housing. i felt the wind, the hope, the excitement literally fly out of my body. i felt absolutely hopeless. i'm seriously considering not going anymore, because by the time i get these loans out, its gonna cost me nearly as much as my entire undergraduate loan, for ONE YEAR of graduate school. that is fucking INSANE. i can't even deal. I'm going to be in debt forever. now, a doctorate degree is looking pretty near impossible, financially. i'm going to be half a million dollars in debt by the time i finish school.
i really just want to cry hysterically right now. i can't deal with all of this stress. i'm not the kind of person who gives up and quits, but this is just so insane. i have way too much on my plate and i need to relax. but i have no TIME to relax.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
senioritis
anyone who has been keeping up with my Facebook statuses, or life in general, know that i am seriously so unmotivated for school. i have one month left. and i don't study. I'm lucky i go to class. although i do things like this (i think i almost just missed a clicker question). going to class is the only way i still remember i'm a student. its hilarious, because I'm starting graduate school soon, but i'm so mentally checked out of school. it's pretty bad.
i'm just so excited for the things that are up and coming in my life. i'm still toying with my life. do i want to go to into fashion? do i want to stay in psych? i just really want my own business, and a doctoral degree. those are the two things i want, career wise, out of life. i don't know how to get them, because nothing will fulfill me until i do. i just want to have a good life and enjoy myself. I'm excited at the possibility of moving, but I'm excited at the possibility of going to an amazing school. i'm most excited, however, at the inevitability that i will FINALLY know what is going on, and not freak out about the uncertainty of my future.
still waiting for grad school updates, working on a job, and trying to see if/where i'll be moving with my fiancé! i will certainly update you all, and probably be a hell of a lot less stressed out. hopefully ill be skinnier too, with the loss of my lack-of-diet due to stress (:
i'm just so excited for the things that are up and coming in my life. i'm still toying with my life. do i want to go to into fashion? do i want to stay in psych? i just really want my own business, and a doctoral degree. those are the two things i want, career wise, out of life. i don't know how to get them, because nothing will fulfill me until i do. i just want to have a good life and enjoy myself. I'm excited at the possibility of moving, but I'm excited at the possibility of going to an amazing school. i'm most excited, however, at the inevitability that i will FINALLY know what is going on, and not freak out about the uncertainty of my future.
still waiting for grad school updates, working on a job, and trying to see if/where i'll be moving with my fiancé! i will certainly update you all, and probably be a hell of a lot less stressed out. hopefully ill be skinnier too, with the loss of my lack-of-diet due to stress (:
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
a really necessary update.
So. the last time i logged into my blog, i wanted to write about my feelings regarding the premature deaths of two people i graduated high school with, class of 2008. Lukas Horvath and Kayla Ogorek both died this year, barely a month apart, of drug-related issues. Kayla, from what i understand, was pressured into trying heroin by her 'boyfriend', who watched her die of overdose. Lukas, from what I hear, used regularly, but the idea that he has a son who is barely a year or so almost doubles the intensity of the situation. Deaths are always a terrible tragedy, and the fact that they are SO young makes it even worse. They were by no means bad people. Maybe they could have made smarter decisions, but I personally knew them and they were funny, nice people. It's a shame that they were taken from us so young, so full of life. I hope they rest peacefully in heaven, where God will care for them.
It's just such a reality check. Nobody is invincible. God makes all the decisions, but for all the right reasons, no matter if we can see them now or not. We need to trust in Him and believe that these happen for good reason. Deaths at age 22 and 21, less than four years after our Sayreville War Memorial High School graduation, in June 2008, in the pouring rain and storm. i pray that we can all enjoy life and keep on the right path.
I went to write this blog post on March 11th. Sunday, March 11th, 2012. I was sitting on Carlos's couch, typing away as he and his friend Allison were preparing for a flight that they were supposed to have the next day. After Allison left, I closed my computer, intending to finish this post. Now, however, I have another event to write about, to continue it.
Going back to my feelings about these two deaths, I realized that life is not what everyone else wants for you, but what you want for yourself. Taking advice from people you love and trust is important, but people can't influence your every decision. You won't be living for the right ones. At the same time, you need to use reason, judgement, and intelligence with your thinking and decisions. Sometimes things really don't make sense, and they don't have to. but you've got to trust yourself, and if you do, things will work out the way you want them to.
March 11th, 2012 was the best day of my life. Carlos took me to the beach, at NAS Pensacola, and after a while of sitting and relaxing, presented me with gifts, and wrote/sung me a song. It was in this song that he asked me to marry him. I can't really explain the joy, the relief, the amazement, the happiness, and the contentment i feel when i think about this. when i replay the scenario, the song, his words, the rush of excitement in my mind. there's no other feeling in the world than to be loved. Carlos and I wanted to 'feel' like we were engaged before we actually were. We did not want our engagement to 'push' our relationship to a level it was not ready for. and although it SUCKS being far away, 1200 miles apart from my fiancé, we know we are stronger than ever, and we have done everything possible to make our relationship now and in the future as smooth as possible. i am excited about maintaining my own life and career, but i can't wait to be his wife one day :) i get choked up just thinking about it :)
why did i include all of this in one blog post? they both bring each other into perspective. life decisions are very important, and what you do at one moment can affect the rest of your life, and others too. when i think back on my life four years ago, right out of high school, ready to tackle the world, i never dreamed i'd be where i am now. i thought my life would be completely different- accepted into medical school, with a higher GPA, same friends, etc. who would have thought i'd be majoring in psychology and education, working in a restaurant with some great people, i'd be engaged to a naval flight officer candidate, visiting places like the United State Naval Academy, Annapolis, Baltimore, DC, Pensacola, among others. meeting girls from all over the country that have really changed my outlook on people, in a good way. my point is, life takes its turns so fast and before you know it, your life is totally different than it was a year ago. keeping God in your decisions, strength and happiness in your mind, and the people who love you as well, will lead you on a path that may be different from what you expected, but will make you happier i the long run.
and i'm so glad that is exactly what i did.
It's just such a reality check. Nobody is invincible. God makes all the decisions, but for all the right reasons, no matter if we can see them now or not. We need to trust in Him and believe that these happen for good reason. Deaths at age 22 and 21, less than four years after our Sayreville War Memorial High School graduation, in June 2008, in the pouring rain and storm. i pray that we can all enjoy life and keep on the right path.
I went to write this blog post on March 11th. Sunday, March 11th, 2012. I was sitting on Carlos's couch, typing away as he and his friend Allison were preparing for a flight that they were supposed to have the next day. After Allison left, I closed my computer, intending to finish this post. Now, however, I have another event to write about, to continue it.
Going back to my feelings about these two deaths, I realized that life is not what everyone else wants for you, but what you want for yourself. Taking advice from people you love and trust is important, but people can't influence your every decision. You won't be living for the right ones. At the same time, you need to use reason, judgement, and intelligence with your thinking and decisions. Sometimes things really don't make sense, and they don't have to. but you've got to trust yourself, and if you do, things will work out the way you want them to.
March 11th, 2012 was the best day of my life. Carlos took me to the beach, at NAS Pensacola, and after a while of sitting and relaxing, presented me with gifts, and wrote/sung me a song. It was in this song that he asked me to marry him. I can't really explain the joy, the relief, the amazement, the happiness, and the contentment i feel when i think about this. when i replay the scenario, the song, his words, the rush of excitement in my mind. there's no other feeling in the world than to be loved. Carlos and I wanted to 'feel' like we were engaged before we actually were. We did not want our engagement to 'push' our relationship to a level it was not ready for. and although it SUCKS being far away, 1200 miles apart from my fiancé, we know we are stronger than ever, and we have done everything possible to make our relationship now and in the future as smooth as possible. i am excited about maintaining my own life and career, but i can't wait to be his wife one day :) i get choked up just thinking about it :)
why did i include all of this in one blog post? they both bring each other into perspective. life decisions are very important, and what you do at one moment can affect the rest of your life, and others too. when i think back on my life four years ago, right out of high school, ready to tackle the world, i never dreamed i'd be where i am now. i thought my life would be completely different- accepted into medical school, with a higher GPA, same friends, etc. who would have thought i'd be majoring in psychology and education, working in a restaurant with some great people, i'd be engaged to a naval flight officer candidate, visiting places like the United State Naval Academy, Annapolis, Baltimore, DC, Pensacola, among others. meeting girls from all over the country that have really changed my outlook on people, in a good way. my point is, life takes its turns so fast and before you know it, your life is totally different than it was a year ago. keeping God in your decisions, strength and happiness in your mind, and the people who love you as well, will lead you on a path that may be different from what you expected, but will make you happier i the long run.
and i'm so glad that is exactly what i did.
Monday, February 13, 2012
the trip i shouldn't have had.
carlos and i try to see each other at least once a month, usually every 4 or 5 weeks or so. of course, this requires a lot of money management and work on our parts, but its always worth it. because of scheduling, after i flew down in january, i wasn't supposed to see him until spring break in march. 7 weeks may not sound too terrible, but we had gotten into a few fights, and it's valentines weekend and all. so anyways.
tuesday, our professor told us we would not have class on friday. now, thurs- sunday with no classes? sounds perfect! just for kicks i checked flight prices, and they were all over 900 dollars. i told carlos and he was upset at the situation, but jokingly shrugged it off, - after all, its OUTRAGEOUS tos pend that kind of money on tickets. i worked, and slept and woke up for classes on wednesday. after my public speaking class let out, i checked again, out of curiosity/crazy hope. and luckily i did. i found an AMAZING flight deal on hotwire.com for 280 round trip!!! after hectic switching around of work schedules and shaking hands, i hit 'book' and got the deal. i was scheduled to leave in less than 20 hours from newark airport. the day consisted of class, running around getting schoolwork together, and packing! i had previously promised carlos' sister marcella that iw ould spend wednesday with her, so i did. and it was great! i love that girl (: her mom was nice enough to let me stay over and drive me to the airport the next day. pensacola, here i go!
i had planned to surprise carlos with this trip, but with the crazy navy schedule it's pretty hard to do something like that, cause itll go wrong more likely than not. but i had to tell him and he was in disbelief and so excited!
thursday my friend lauren picked me up from the airport and took me to carlos' house (: thanks again! carlos had a minute to eat a quick lunch and then had to go back to work. when he came back, we went to his friend's house to study, since they had an exam and i did too! friday, he did his exam, got some work done and came home to me (: we went out that night to dinner and a movie and seville quarters with another friend of his and his "girlfriend", and that was fun as well! safe house, by the way, sucked. i fell asleep, lmao. seville was fun and the piano bar/club was interesting, haha. saturday, we spent a good portion of the day relaxing, and went to a friend's house for his birthday, and out to dinner later on .
although it was a super short weekend, it was definitely a lot of fun and we got a lot of quality time together with friends and each other pretty much watching how i met your mother while cuddling on the couch when we werent out of the house. florida is beautiful,always, and i felt so blessed to be there much sooner than expected.
it was really nice and exciting to get a few days with him that i totally didnt expect. now, this wait till spring break will seem like nothing at all <3 thanks for a wonderful weekend baby!
tuesday, our professor told us we would not have class on friday. now, thurs- sunday with no classes? sounds perfect! just for kicks i checked flight prices, and they were all over 900 dollars. i told carlos and he was upset at the situation, but jokingly shrugged it off, - after all, its OUTRAGEOUS tos pend that kind of money on tickets. i worked, and slept and woke up for classes on wednesday. after my public speaking class let out, i checked again, out of curiosity/crazy hope. and luckily i did. i found an AMAZING flight deal on hotwire.com for 280 round trip!!! after hectic switching around of work schedules and shaking hands, i hit 'book' and got the deal. i was scheduled to leave in less than 20 hours from newark airport. the day consisted of class, running around getting schoolwork together, and packing! i had previously promised carlos' sister marcella that iw ould spend wednesday with her, so i did. and it was great! i love that girl (: her mom was nice enough to let me stay over and drive me to the airport the next day. pensacola, here i go!
i had planned to surprise carlos with this trip, but with the crazy navy schedule it's pretty hard to do something like that, cause itll go wrong more likely than not. but i had to tell him and he was in disbelief and so excited!
thursday my friend lauren picked me up from the airport and took me to carlos' house (: thanks again! carlos had a minute to eat a quick lunch and then had to go back to work. when he came back, we went to his friend's house to study, since they had an exam and i did too! friday, he did his exam, got some work done and came home to me (: we went out that night to dinner and a movie and seville quarters with another friend of his and his "girlfriend", and that was fun as well! safe house, by the way, sucked. i fell asleep, lmao. seville was fun and the piano bar/club was interesting, haha. saturday, we spent a good portion of the day relaxing, and went to a friend's house for his birthday, and out to dinner later on .
although it was a super short weekend, it was definitely a lot of fun and we got a lot of quality time together with friends and each other pretty much watching how i met your mother while cuddling on the couch when we werent out of the house. florida is beautiful,always, and i felt so blessed to be there much sooner than expected.
it was really nice and exciting to get a few days with him that i totally didnt expect. now, this wait till spring break will seem like nothing at all <3 thanks for a wonderful weekend baby!
Friday, February 3, 2012
not paying attention in neuropsych
which is exactly what i should be doing. oh well.
clearly, i need to stop forgetting i have a blog.
thanksgiving was wonderful, and the rest of fall semester went well too! i earned a 3.375 for the semester, even though i SHOULD have had a 3.5, thanks RU screw. oh well, christmas was great and new years with my boyfriend was perfect.
2012 is off to a great start, looking back on january. christmas break, whatever little time i got with my boyfriend was much needed. i worked every day until the semester started again, but the culmination of API brought carlos a weekend where he wasnt super busy, and was perfect for a visit! i flew down wednesday afternoon on 1/18, and left monday morning on 1/23. visiting him in florida gives us a little taste of typical daily life together- grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. as strange as it was, i loved it, and secretly i know he did too (; it was also really awesome to see one of carlos' best friends since forever, brian, when he drove down to pensacola from columbus, ga. he of course, didnt help in the we-need-to-get-out-of-the-house-and-do-something phase i was in, as they just wanted to watch tv. even so it was a nice relaxing weekend. and seeing jenny and melanie and meeting elizabeth and matt and nick and luis, made it fun too! dinner at shark fin was fun and so was going out to miller's . i personally LOVED the fact that at home there was snow , and i missed it by being in 75 degree january pensacola weather. leaving is probably the worst feeling in the world, and that is how i know that me and carlos are meant for each other.when everything reminds you of that person.
the new semester is going well, although i've been busy with work and interning as well, so i should be trying to focus more on school. my classes are really interesting, surprisingly enough. i was just accepted into graduate school, so at least i have something. my next project is applying to more schools in new york, and finding a decent salary job while im grad school. my only concern is that i know i am moving after my masters, to wherever carlos gets assigned. i just hope that i dont get screwed over by leaving a job to move.
.i really miss him so much, its definitely a rollercoaster, this distance thing. not cause i dont trust him or vice versa, but simply cause we miss being with each other. hanging out, watching movies, date nights.all that stuff. it just really blows not being able to see your best friend. i haven't seen him since i left, even over webcam. our schedules just clash so badly, and were both exhausted by the end of the day. i can only tell myself to toughen up and get over it so often. sometimes i just want to be sad. another wedding season is coming up, this time with the 2012 girls. its just annoying knowing that i still have over a year or so left of distance. i am hoping we can get married after my masters and carlos' winging- it just seems like the right time, when we both are moving and starting new parts of our lives. why not start together? plus, at that time, we will have been together for over 5 years., and i will be 23 and carlos will be 24 and a half. am i crazy, cause i think that sounds like a good point in time to get married? i dont know. whatever. nothing pisses me off more than people who barely know each other getting married and not having to put up with bullshit like i and so many other women have done. thats the annoying part.
dont get me wrong, im not jealous and im not bitter. im just annoyed, but i know the choice we are making is right and i know itll pan out well.
however, i am super excited that my good friend samantha is also included in this 'wedding season' , and i couldnt be happier for her and her fiance chris! congratulations sam, if you are reading this.
i guess i should get back to paying attention to this lecture, but i can barely see, my contacts are foggy. who am i kidding, im going to sign up for pinterest now.
clearly, i need to stop forgetting i have a blog.
thanksgiving was wonderful, and the rest of fall semester went well too! i earned a 3.375 for the semester, even though i SHOULD have had a 3.5, thanks RU screw. oh well, christmas was great and new years with my boyfriend was perfect.
2012 is off to a great start, looking back on january. christmas break, whatever little time i got with my boyfriend was much needed. i worked every day until the semester started again, but the culmination of API brought carlos a weekend where he wasnt super busy, and was perfect for a visit! i flew down wednesday afternoon on 1/18, and left monday morning on 1/23. visiting him in florida gives us a little taste of typical daily life together- grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. as strange as it was, i loved it, and secretly i know he did too (; it was also really awesome to see one of carlos' best friends since forever, brian, when he drove down to pensacola from columbus, ga. he of course, didnt help in the we-need-to-get-out-of-the-house-and-do-something phase i was in, as they just wanted to watch tv. even so it was a nice relaxing weekend. and seeing jenny and melanie and meeting elizabeth and matt and nick and luis, made it fun too! dinner at shark fin was fun and so was going out to miller's . i personally LOVED the fact that at home there was snow , and i missed it by being in 75 degree january pensacola weather. leaving is probably the worst feeling in the world, and that is how i know that me and carlos are meant for each other.when everything reminds you of that person.
the new semester is going well, although i've been busy with work and interning as well, so i should be trying to focus more on school. my classes are really interesting, surprisingly enough. i was just accepted into graduate school, so at least i have something. my next project is applying to more schools in new york, and finding a decent salary job while im grad school. my only concern is that i know i am moving after my masters, to wherever carlos gets assigned. i just hope that i dont get screwed over by leaving a job to move.
.i really miss him so much, its definitely a rollercoaster, this distance thing. not cause i dont trust him or vice versa, but simply cause we miss being with each other. hanging out, watching movies, date nights.all that stuff. it just really blows not being able to see your best friend. i haven't seen him since i left, even over webcam. our schedules just clash so badly, and were both exhausted by the end of the day. i can only tell myself to toughen up and get over it so often. sometimes i just want to be sad. another wedding season is coming up, this time with the 2012 girls. its just annoying knowing that i still have over a year or so left of distance. i am hoping we can get married after my masters and carlos' winging- it just seems like the right time, when we both are moving and starting new parts of our lives. why not start together? plus, at that time, we will have been together for over 5 years., and i will be 23 and carlos will be 24 and a half. am i crazy, cause i think that sounds like a good point in time to get married? i dont know. whatever. nothing pisses me off more than people who barely know each other getting married and not having to put up with bullshit like i and so many other women have done. thats the annoying part.
dont get me wrong, im not jealous and im not bitter. im just annoyed, but i know the choice we are making is right and i know itll pan out well.
however, i am super excited that my good friend samantha is also included in this 'wedding season' , and i couldnt be happier for her and her fiance chris! congratulations sam, if you are reading this.
i guess i should get back to paying attention to this lecture, but i can barely see, my contacts are foggy. who am i kidding, im going to sign up for pinterest now.
Friday, November 18, 2011
ramble and word vomit.
Sometimes, I find it really funny that I want to blog, and write about everything I experience, and how I feel at the time. I think it could be really therapeutic if i kept up with it like I should. I feel that I don't have patience for anything anymore. I legitimately believe that I have some kind of ADD, or focusing problem. I have a lot of trouble remaining on task for more than a few minutes. Whether it is studying, paying attention, or whatever. Perhaps its just things that I don't find useful. Like school. Don't get me wrong , learning and education are very important and definitely put someone on an easier path to a successful career. and i dont plan on dropping out. i just find that the politics and the bullshit of school and college and most things in life really override the genuineness (is that a word)of it. so many things in this world are meant to be useful and beautiful and great. but people screw them up. people and their greed or anger or selfishness, ruin it.
i've started cutting people out of my life, because ive learned that there are many people i don't want to be like. the statement that you are like the people you surround yourself with is very true. i have learned that i surrounded myself with people who were raised similarly to me.. however, it also became clear that i actually grew to become my own person, and matured with college and the dawning of real-world responsibilities, like bills and work and balancing one's life. it's just hilarious to me that people consider 'college' to be 'real life'. HELLO? studying for an exam is stressful,but it is NOT the real world. when mommy and daddy still support you, and allow for you to be able to focus entirely on your studies and social life, then consider yourself very lucky. however, don't cry when you get shoved into responsibility. sometimes my life is very stressful and i worry how i'll live after not working for a few days, but in the end, knowing that i can support myself at the age of 21 (and earlier) makes me feel like a successful person. I found the man that i'll love forever, i know how to survive on my own and independently, and i am working towards a brighter future for myself, which leads to a better life for my (future) family.
i guess i dont really know why this is such a big deal to me now, probably because i am a really social person who has decided to not keep in steady touch with over half of her friends. but acquaintances are always better, anyway.
i am really looking forward to a wonderful holiday, with family, my boyfriend back home in new jersey, and shopping! we are also going to look at engagement rings, which i really was not expecting, because i thought it would just remain a giant surprise till he proposed. but its really exciting to see that he feels ready enough for this. we definitely plan on being together for the long run, but its just so relieving andmakes this all REAL that we (okay, HE) is taking it seriously now! i can't wait to be engaged, marriage can wait, but i cannot wait to know for sure that carlos and i can start building our future together. i know its going to be bliss ! (okay, maybe im exaggerating, it'll probably consist of a lot of exasperation and sighing and head-shaking, mostly cause of his videogames and constant farting) but hey, it could be worse?
i've started cutting people out of my life, because ive learned that there are many people i don't want to be like. the statement that you are like the people you surround yourself with is very true. i have learned that i surrounded myself with people who were raised similarly to me.. however, it also became clear that i actually grew to become my own person, and matured with college and the dawning of real-world responsibilities, like bills and work and balancing one's life. it's just hilarious to me that people consider 'college' to be 'real life'. HELLO? studying for an exam is stressful,but it is NOT the real world. when mommy and daddy still support you, and allow for you to be able to focus entirely on your studies and social life, then consider yourself very lucky. however, don't cry when you get shoved into responsibility. sometimes my life is very stressful and i worry how i'll live after not working for a few days, but in the end, knowing that i can support myself at the age of 21 (and earlier) makes me feel like a successful person. I found the man that i'll love forever, i know how to survive on my own and independently, and i am working towards a brighter future for myself, which leads to a better life for my (future) family.
i guess i dont really know why this is such a big deal to me now, probably because i am a really social person who has decided to not keep in steady touch with over half of her friends. but acquaintances are always better, anyway.
i am really looking forward to a wonderful holiday, with family, my boyfriend back home in new jersey, and shopping! we are also going to look at engagement rings, which i really was not expecting, because i thought it would just remain a giant surprise till he proposed. but its really exciting to see that he feels ready enough for this. we definitely plan on being together for the long run, but its just so relieving andmakes this all REAL that we (okay, HE) is taking it seriously now! i can't wait to be engaged, marriage can wait, but i cannot wait to know for sure that carlos and i can start building our future together. i know its going to be bliss ! (okay, maybe im exaggerating, it'll probably consist of a lot of exasperation and sighing and head-shaking, mostly cause of his videogames and constant farting) but hey, it could be worse?
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
senior year, semester one.
So reading my previous post made me realize that this blogging stuff is definitely not for me. i dont have the patience for this. currently, i'm in class and my friend is saddened by this message, haha. :)
but things from last post are not so palm-tree like, since i am back in dirty jersey. which is the best state in the union, i must add. haha. anyways. this semester has been SUPER hectic with my 400 levels, applying to graduate schools, my job and my internship! it's been really crazy trying to manage everything, just because i'm trying to make time for a minimal social life and a long distance relationship. but so far it's working, and i'm praying it stays that way.
october was the best month ever. homecoming was a blast and we beat navy! duh (: my 21st birthday was also a great time, with some wonderful people. and later that week, i flew down to see my boy for the first time in roughly 7 weeks. let me tell you, there is nothing quite like the feeling of a hug after such a long time. i know that i'll eventually have to go longer, but it was still the best feeling to feel my face light up upon seeing hi m pop out from behind the fake palm trees in the pensacola airport waiting area. that was the start of a literally perfect weekend, and i couldn't have asked for a better time. looking forward now, we only have SEVEN days<3 a week left! so excited to have him HOME<3
my internship is pretty interesting so far, the students are great , but i definitely know that i will NOT be going clinical, cause Lord knows i cannot deal with mentally ill patient forever. i want my kiddies in schools!
i'm starting to get anxiety about grad programs, and how much this is all going to cost, time and money wise. i really really hope i get int where i'm applying. So far its UWF, Montclair State, Monmouth University, NYU and Columbia. AHHHHHH im getting a headache just thinking bout it.i really really hope i get into the 36 credit programs, so i can finish by fall of 2013, which is hopefully when carlos will get winged! i am praying for SOME sort of timing to work out and for the navy to NOT screw us over. some normalcy, please and thanks.
so things with my parent re much better but i am super nervous about carlos meeting my family for the first time this thanksgiving. especially cause i dont know where its leading. i know theyll love him, but they are too damn opinionated for their own good. sigh. can't handle guyanese people. theyre too loud. sigh. but we shall see how this goes!
and no, i am not engaged.yes, my boyfriend is an ensign. no, we arent splitting up. no, i am not a midhound. no, i do not know when he will propose. and no i will not put it on facebook. you didn't miss anything....
incase you were wondering. (;
but things from last post are not so palm-tree like, since i am back in dirty jersey. which is the best state in the union, i must add. haha. anyways. this semester has been SUPER hectic with my 400 levels, applying to graduate schools, my job and my internship! it's been really crazy trying to manage everything, just because i'm trying to make time for a minimal social life and a long distance relationship. but so far it's working, and i'm praying it stays that way.
october was the best month ever. homecoming was a blast and we beat navy! duh (: my 21st birthday was also a great time, with some wonderful people. and later that week, i flew down to see my boy for the first time in roughly 7 weeks. let me tell you, there is nothing quite like the feeling of a hug after such a long time. i know that i'll eventually have to go longer, but it was still the best feeling to feel my face light up upon seeing hi m pop out from behind the fake palm trees in the pensacola airport waiting area. that was the start of a literally perfect weekend, and i couldn't have asked for a better time. looking forward now, we only have SEVEN days<3 a week left! so excited to have him HOME<3
my internship is pretty interesting so far, the students are great , but i definitely know that i will NOT be going clinical, cause Lord knows i cannot deal with mentally ill patient forever. i want my kiddies in schools!
i'm starting to get anxiety about grad programs, and how much this is all going to cost, time and money wise. i really really hope i get int where i'm applying. So far its UWF, Montclair State, Monmouth University, NYU and Columbia. AHHHHHH im getting a headache just thinking bout it.i really really hope i get into the 36 credit programs, so i can finish by fall of 2013, which is hopefully when carlos will get winged! i am praying for SOME sort of timing to work out and for the navy to NOT screw us over. some normalcy, please and thanks.
so things with my parent re much better but i am super nervous about carlos meeting my family for the first time this thanksgiving. especially cause i dont know where its leading. i know theyll love him, but they are too damn opinionated for their own good. sigh. can't handle guyanese people. theyre too loud. sigh. but we shall see how this goes!
and no, i am not engaged.yes, my boyfriend is an ensign. no, we arent splitting up. no, i am not a midhound. no, i do not know when he will propose. and no i will not put it on facebook. you didn't miss anything....
incase you were wondering. (;
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